What I'm about to tell is true, I swear
About the monkey that stole my hair
It was a pet of a quaint millionaire
Whose head was shiny bare
The monkey tied me to a chair
Which caught me totally unaware
He pulled out the clippers and began this sad affair
While a polar bear played solitaire
But I really must declare
This affair wasn't totally unfair
For this haircut made me look so debonair
Well, now you can tell I ain't no Voltaire
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