Monday, April 27, 2009

The First Ring


We just sat down to supper. Outside the thunder rolled and the lightening flashed, it is the perfect night to watch the original Halloween movie once again. I laugh at how young Jamie Lee Curtis looks until I realized how young I looked all those many years ago. Just as the bad guy was reaching for the closet door, our lights went out. I jumped into my wife’s lap and screamed like a little girl. That’s when it happened….

The first ring.

They immediately started, the cold sweats, the trembling fingers, and my heart trying to burst through my chest. I just know it's that ghastly and horrifying man calling to torment me. It has to be him, who else would call at this time of night? My knees are weak as I stumble towards the telephone. Maybe if I just don't answer it, yeah, if I don't answer it I won't hear his cruel voice. No, that won't work, he will just continue to call. How long can he terrorize me? How long until I can once again sit in my home in peace?

Second ring.

It seems louder than the first. Is he playing with me? Why is there someone outside playing the drums? Oh, that's my heart beating inside my ears. What if I let the answering machine do it's job and answer for me? It might work to give me a few moments of peace, but he will call back, he most certainly will call back.

Third ring.

OK, answer it and get it over with. He can't terrorize me all night can he? What can he really do? He's just a voice on the phone. OK, I'm gonna answer. Steady now, it's just a phone. A voice can’t hurt you, only make you hurt yourself as you run for safety.
I lift the receiver to my ear.

"Hel-Hello?"

"Yes, I'm Teddy Telemarketer with Acme Widgets and do I have a deal for you!"+

AHWAAAAAAAAAABAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! It's even more dreadful than I feared! When will my no-call status kick in? Oh the inhumanity of it all! My dinner's getting cold! Don’t let them smell fear! Homeland Security, please put a stop to these terrorist!

I quickly hang up and stand there shaking in the darkened room. I stare at the phone wondering when it will ring again, feeling the telemarketer tentiles reaching out to grab my throat. I try to finish my dinner but nothing taste good cold. Then I hear it…

The first ring…….

3 comments:

Shaddy said...

We don't get those calls anymore. I'd almost forgotten they ever existed until I read your latest blog post. I feel for you.
Next time tell the telemarketer that you've got a lame horse you're trying to get rid of. Ask if you can make a swap, even up for whatever he's hawking.

You did a great job of writing. I'm going back right now to read it again. Way to go, Walk.

Shaddy said...

I read it again and I just had to stop back here to commend you. Very well done, indeed.

Walk said...

Aw, gawlee, shucks ma'am.