An Interview With Myself

An interview with Me, Myself, and I was scheduled for today. The interview was late starting due to I not showing up.

Me: Glad you accepted this interview, are you ready to get started?

Myself: Shouldn't we wait till I shows up.

Me: You know I, he'll be late, and we can't wait.

Myself: OK, begin the interrogation.

Me: How would you describe yourself?

Myself: It's Myself, not Yourself. Yourself lives down the block.

Me: OK, how would you describe Myself?

Myself: If I were on the outside looking in, I would say that Myself is a complicated person. A man of many talents but a master of none. A man who loves his God, his family and his country, and would die for any of them. A man who loves to make people laugh and sing in their soul. But what does I know, he didn't show up for this interview, so forget all that.

Me: What's your background?

Myself: Born to a pipe liner in Austin, Texas many moons ago. Raised in Kansas and settled in Oklahoma. I now work for an oil service company but don't tell my mom, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse and I wouldn't want to disappoint her.

Me: If you could tell the world one thing what would it be?

Myself: Send me a dollar.

Me: Send you a dollar, that's kinda selfish.

Myself: If everyone in the world would send me a dollar, I wouldn't have to work, I could do many things to help those around me if I didn't have to work. I could sleep till noon if I didn't have to work.

Me: So that's your motivation, sleeping till noon.

Myself: Only on days that end in y.

I: Hey there guys, I'm sorry I'm late.

Me and Myself: Might know that you show up now that the work is finished!